Encore Weddings | Falling in love again

“How lucky to have been twice blessed in marriage!” – Harriet Smith, Emma (film)

Every wedding is a unique and wonderful event. Just because it is your second (or third) marriage, doesn’t mean your special day is any less important than your first. Every desire should be considered and every detail should be planned.

Because it is your encore wedding, you probably have a clearer vision of what details you want to incorporate into your wedding. Here are some recommendations to think about when planning your encore wedding.

Don’t change your Facebook status to “engaged” until…

you tell your children. Even if they are grown or live far away. Your new spouse may not be their step-parent, but the family dynamic is going to change. It doesn’t matter if you have been dating for a while or living together, they have a right to get the news before anyone else.

You shouldn’t about inviting…

everyone you know. Encore weddings are a chance for you to have an intimate affair with your closest family and friends. You are not obligated to invite co-workers, family you don’t get along with, or anyone else who will not be there to support you. This rule goes for any other couples too, but especially with second marriages. Special circumstances may be step-children from a prior marriage that you are still close to, or ex-in-laws you still adore. In these special cases, you should talk it over with your new fiancé to see if they are comfortable.

You are not obligated to wear…

anything you don’t want to. Of course, if you want to wear black tie or a white formal gown, you are totally free to do so. As with any wedding, keep in mind the venue, decor, and time of day, but there is no rules on attire for second weddings. I am just saying that the off-white suit can stay in the closet for another day.

Have a wedding shower only if…

you invite people who are current friends of you and your new spouse. Inviting people who came to your first shower may be a little awkward, unless they are really special friends or close relatives. If you really don’t need gifts, maybe take the time to have a spa day with your besties. Caveat: you should only have one pre-wedding party for an encore wedding. So if you have a wedding shower, nix the bachelor or bachelorette party.

Remember that your wedding party…

can be big, small, or non-existent. Your family and friends should be involved in your wedding in whatever manner you desire. Walking down the aisle by yourself, with a parent, or with your children are all wonderful options. Family blending ceremonies can also be a meaningful way to include younger children.

Consider your audience…

if you plan on tossing a bouquet or garter. Even some first-time couples are forgoing these tosses if there aren’t enough singletons on the guest list. However, you should still consider including other traditions such as special family dances (father/daughter or mother/son), a cake cutting ceremony, and toasts. Just keep your guests and family in mind when deciding what traditions to incorporate.

I believe encore weddings should be just as special and unique as any other wedding. Even though there may be some additional considerations, you should always create your vision of the perfect wedding day based on where you are in life today.

 

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